300 births.

I’ve been a certified volunteer doula and NICU specialist for 16 years.

In other parts of the healthcare system, 300 births is nothing. Nurses and physicians witness thousands. But for me? These 300 have hit hard. Every single one. Because being invited into these moments has been one of my highest privileges in my life.

After assisting over 300 births and 16 years in the NICU, this is what I know for sure:

• There is no such thing as a “simple” family.
• Everyone believes in God when their child is sick.
• Love is not automatic. Not every parent has the capacity to love their kid.
• Most nurses and physicians are doing sacred work while running on empty.
• Hospitals are where humanity shows up unfiltered — its brilliance and its cruelty.
• The strongest and smartest people in the room are not the loudest.
• Most people are doing the best they can with what they have.
• Birth and death sit much closer together than we’re comfortable admitting.
• Abortion is healthcare. Full stop. It is inhumane to restrain abortions.
• We systematically fail women and children, then punish them harder if they are people of color. We must do better.
• If you want allies in a hospital, bring snacks.

I’m a leader in many areas of my life, and I think the greatest gift this work has given me is having a place where I simply show up to do what’s necessary. Often, this means simply obeying.

Doulas exist at the very bottom of the hierarchy. 

Doulas are non-medical.

Doulas make no decisions.

Doulas offer no orders.

Our role is to support families, in the ultimate read-the-room-in-real-time situations.

Carrying a calling rooted in service, in submission, did something profound to me.

As much as I want to be heard at tables where decisions are made, nothing has been better for my growth as a leader and a human than sitting quietly in three hundred rocking chairs, a baby in my arms.

Forever thankful,
ML